The reason I'm taking this so bad is because she reminds me. Reminds me of all the other people that have died because of me. I thought I had processed it.. That I was over it.
But Its not that easy, I know that now. I also know that this is a pointless battle. I thought of myself as a fighter not a runner, but there isn't a difference. The reason almost nobody refers to themselves as fighters anymore when confronted with these monsters is simple. Its because we can't fight them, we can delay but we can't do shit.
Running is all we can do, so we are just runners, nothing more. Oh and before any proxy starts gloating, you're running too. You're the same as us, just delaying your own death. And no, being a proxy doesn't fucking make you live a bit longer. It does nothing. I killed many proxies, half of them new proxies probably. And even if its not a runner killing you its your own goddamn master.
Or mistress, depending on which Fear you serve.
Being a servant seems like the easy way out. Humans tend to see an easy way out and take it. But they don't fucking see that all they're seeing is an illusion. There is no easy way out. The only people that benefit from being a servant are psychos, because they just get a free pass to do whatever they want. Its those fuckers that tend to stay alive because apparently karma works in reverse.
This turned into a rant instead of a memorial post. Fuck.
I'm sorry, I couldn't save any of you.
Mom (not putting her name on here for privacy reasons)
Jim Witfeld
Katrien van de Velde (Kat)
Yaroslava (No fucking idea what her last name even was..)
The Moonlight (he was an ass but still..)
So, I don't believe in heaven or shit but..
Oh wait Kyra just walked in. I'll continue this post later.. This wasn't the best time for this stuff anyway. <x3
I don't believe in heaven either, fuck that shit. But I'm glad to have inspired cherishing memories and so on. Don't worry about it turning into a rant; that's understandable.
ReplyDeleteYou're at a low point. I'm at a low point. Let's make some kind of mutual agreement at least not to top ourselves, eh?
I realised this battle isn't pointless. We need to waste their time and their resources by staying alive for as long as possible. Otherwise they'll move onto the next poor sod.
This isn't pointless, if it was, I would be dead a long time ago. We are fighting, not running, we might die, or not succeed at doing much, but each of us, distracts IT and other Fears by surviving and sometimes, fighting back. Thus we are buying someone else, some time, one of those people, might eventually, end up taking at least one of them down.
ReplyDeleteAs for Kyra, not a believer myself, but at least now, she doesn't have to face this shit any longer. What makes her death more painful, is the fact that she started walking and eventually running, from her posts, it seemed that despite this shit, she was happy that she could enjoy at least that bit of happiness. But as I said, at least she isn't suffering now.
I hate when kids end up on the list of causalities.
- Mr. Incognito.
You mean Yaro.
DeleteKyra is the nest, with the raptors and shit.
~Shine
Apologies, lack of sleep.
Delete- Mr. Incognito.
Oh, Yaro...
ReplyDelete